Johnny Sparks
Where the hell do I start with this guy... Well I'm a whopping 30 years, married and running headlong towards the family trap. When it comes to my job here at Bar Thugs I take this shit very seriously. So, if you see me out, belly up to the bar and challenge me to an Irish Car Bomb, or recruit me as your A-#1 Wingman. If I were to describe myself I'd probably say I'm like Ben Harper meets Mos Def for cocktails in a dimly-lit dive bar, but luckily I don't describe myself very often.
When I'm heading out for an evening of drinking and mayhem, you can usually hear me blaring something like Tomoyasu Hotei or Death in Vegas.
Favorite Drink: Black Russian
Battle Cry: I dare you to make less sense!
Contact: jsparks@bar-thugs.com
Mickey Swole
I guess I could tell you all sorts of things about me. What's my favorite color, my favorite food, what kind of music I like, who did I stovepipe last, blah, blah, blah. But let's just say you already know that. While we are at it, let's just say you want to buy me a few more drinks too! After that, I?ll dazzle with my rapier wit and you can take me your place.
Favorite Drink: Dirty Martini
Battle Cry: SWOLE!!!
Contact: mswole@bar-thugs.com
Jozlyn Swallows
Not much to say about this chick here except that she likes to drink and she's always down! Where ever the party is that's where you'll find me. I can't stand girlie chicks so I tend to run with this bunch of emotionally challenged cock grabbers. What better way to pass the time than tearing it up with these fuck stains??? I hate country music, my current job, and anything that requires me to act responsibly. I respond well to free drinks, loud music, and men who have too much money to possibly spend alone!
Favorite Drink: Vodka Tonic
Battle Cry: Let's Go Sexin'!
Contact: jswallows@bar-thugs.com
Mandy Fountain
A 27-year-old ranidaphobiac, I love B-52 shots, fast cars and stilettos. I?m still bitter about getting kicked out of dance class when I was 5 (creative differences). I carry a bartender?s guide in my car and am fond of anything that sparkles.
Favorite Drink: Red Headed Slut
Battle Cry: Do It.
Contact: mfountain@bar-thugs.com
Ronnie "Nailz" Nails
At 23, I'm the B.T. (baby thug) but don't let that fool you. I have loads of experience under my belt, including stints as publisher/editor/writer of an alternative press magazine (or "'zine" as they were called at the time) and as a rock star, as well as spending 6+ years at a 4 year university. That's all in my past now, as I have been reborn as a bar thug. As the inspiration of this group, I am flattered to finally have the chance to tell my story. I like my women hot, my beer cold, my music loud, and my coffee slightly above room temperature (any hotter and it burns my throat).
I'm usually thuggin' 3 or 4 nights a week, so if you see me, give me the whats up and I'll drink you under the table and/or kick your ass at pinball.
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Favorite Drink: Double scotch on the rocks
Battle Cry: Cilantro
Contact: rnails@bar-thugs.com
Mike Ledges
If your evening calls for drinking and "you like skateboarding?" you have to call upon Ledges. With the charismatic force of wrecking ball this man is guarenteed to liven up the joint.
Favorite Drink: Long Island Ice Tea
Battle Cry: Watch me go
Contact: mledges@bar-thugs.com
Randy Winkelman
An ole country pimp with dreams of the big city. Enjoys long walks in the park, small furry animals, and shaved women!
Favorite Drink: mmmm beer!
Battle Cry: Fuck a five!!
Contact: rwinkelman@bar-thugs.com
